Kitty McSlut is exactly the kind of trashy cartoon porn game I pretend not to like and then end up losing whole evenings to. It feels like somebody took that secret crush on Kitty Katswell from TV, cranked every knob to “degenerate”, and then forgot to hire an editor. You start off thinking it’s just some dumb little clicker thing with a horny cat spy, and somehow you’re suddenly trying to min-max her “sluttiness” like it’s a serious RPG stat. The first time I got her to agree to that “private undercover interrogation” with the mob boss, I honestly laughed out loud, because the dialogue is this weird mix of bad puns and really filthy lines that sound like a horny 18-year-old wrote them in the notes app. And it kind of works. One second you’re picking a cute outfit, next second she’s on her knees making a “deal” so your quest doesn’t fail. I was like, alright, this escalated fast.

The whole thing moves between silly parody spy missions and just straight-up porn scenes. You get some small “adventure” bits where she has to sneak around some shady lab, talk to suspects, pretend to be all professional secret agent, and then you hit the wrong choice and suddenly she’s caught, hands tied above her, tits pushed up, “interrogated” for information she totally has but pretends she doesn’t just to drag the scene out. There was this moment in the club level where I thought “ok, it’s just dancing for intel” and then the game throws a drunk bouncer at her who only lets her through if she “shows some gratitude” behind the bar. I kinda hated how quick she agreed, then realized her “lust” stat was so high because I kept picking the lewd dialogue earlier. My fault. Or victory. Depends on the mood. The art is that old-school anime porn style, thick outlines, huge boobs, stupidly tiny waist, everything super exaggerated. Sometimes her boobs look like they exist in a different gravity field and it annoyed me, but then in the next scene they jiggle in a way that just hits right and I forget to care. Also, half the jokes are really dumb, like “pussy patrol” level dumb, yet I still snorted at them. I wish I could say I’m proud of that.

What surprised me is how it actually feels like a little sim instead of just clicking “next” until the cumshot. You have to decide if Kitty plays the loyal agent, the greedy slut taking bribes in “special favors”, or this chaotic mix where she talks like a professional in one line and then begs for cock in the next. There’s this quest where she’s supposed to get incriminating pictures of a corrupt officer, and you can either blackmail him or join the photoshoot, and if you pick the naughty route it turns into this messy threesome in the office with his assistant barging in and somehow joining five seconds later. I was on the bus with my phone, brightness way too high, and I had to pretend I was just checking Instagram while Kitty was swallowing a “peace offering”. The pacing is all over the place, some scenes drag, some scenes end right when you’re really into it, and there’s this one repeatable blowjob event in the locker room I found completely by accident just by clicking the wrong arrow and I kept going back to it like some kind of ritual. The UI is clunky, one button sits a pixel off and it bothered me more than it should, and sometimes the English in the game is actually worse than mine, but it almost adds to the cursed charm. It’s like watching a dirty cartoon your friend drew in high school that somehow evolved into a full porn sim with quests and stats and way too many scenes where the cat spy ends up covered in everything except dignity.

Konosuba: The Harem Adventures feels like someone took the original anime, spilled horny fanfic all over it, then decided, “yeah, this is fine” and clicked publish. You wake up as the usual unlucky dumbass hero in Axel, tossed into another world where monster girls want to kill you, then ride you, then maybe both at the same time. The game pretends to be about quests and turn based combat and all that, but everyone knows why your mouse is hovering over Aqua’s tits instead of the “attack” button. Half the time you’re joking with her about her useless goddess act, then the next scene she is on her knees, drool on her chin, eyes rolled back in perfect ahegao while you think, “yeah, this is exactly what she deserves.” The writing leans into the humiliation, the teasing, the whole “she’s divine but still choking on your dick” thing without blinking. It is not subtle. It is not trying to be.

Then there is Darkness, who looks like a walking BDSM fantasy and acts like someone switched her brain with a masochistic attack dog. The game really plays with that. You pick a “normal” romantic answer and she somehow twists it into “please degrade me more.” During combat she is supposed to be your tank, taking hits from monsters, but the game keeps cutting to little animations where she is basically cumming from pain, armor sliding off, ass taking up half the screen. It is funny at first, then hot, then slightly pathetic, which is also kind of hot if you are honest. And in town, when you go into the more sandbox parts, you can push her a bit further every time: a “training” session that starts with standard handjob and ends in anal with her begging you to hit her harder, while the scene keeps that goofy Konosuba humor. It never lets you forget this is a parody, but it also doesn’t shy away from being straight up filthy. Same with Megumin: she is obsessed with explosions, obviously, but here her climax is treated like a literal blast, with the build up in combat turning into sexual build up in her private events, including a scene where she has you pinned, riding you with this unhinged grin, moaning about “releasing it all at once” like she is talking about magic. The game knows exactly what it is doing.

Outside the main trio, the game broadens into pure harem chaos. There is the milf innkeeper who looks like she walked out of some cheap porn ad on the side of a pirate site, but her scenes are shockingly tender for a game that also gives you a succubus who basically turns you into a walking cum dispenser if you are not careful with your choices. The succubus events are surprisingly mechanical too, tied to your combat progress and “energy” in a way that can really screw your runs if you let her drain you dry in one of those animated footjobs or slow, teasing oral sessions where she pretends she is doing you a favor. There is light incest teasing from one of the new girls that made me roll my eyes, because it goes right to that line and dances on it longer than needed, but the game clearly knows its audience and doesn’t apologize. Some routes feel like a dating sim with actual romance, some like pure porn logic, and sometimes the same girl flips between genuine warmth and cartoonish ahegao in the span of one conversation. It can be whiplash. Still, the mix of teasing, exhibitionism in town events, and little scenes where the male protagonist is clearly still a virgin at heart trying to act like a harem king gives it this strange, almost honest undercurrent. He is not a noble hero, he is just a horny isekai loser who somehow ended surrounded by big tits, big asses, a few monster girls, and way too many chances to make the worst possible choice. Which, to be fair, is kind of the point.

I don’t know who came up with the idea to mash Makima, Zelda, and Tsunade into the same world, but whoever it was probably spilled beer on their keyboard halfway through writing the script - and that’s what makes *D20 Magic Dice* feel alive. It’s messy, horny, strangely sentimental at times, like watching late-night anime reruns after a breakup. You’re talking to this dice thing (yeah, an actual dice), and before you even realize it, it’s making your thoughts real. Not just the good ones. I rolled a 3 once and ended up in some half-lit tavern where Widowmaker was arm wrestling Rumi for no reason while Zelda flirted with the bartender. I think I lost track of the main plot two minutes in, but it didn’t matter. The game doesn’t care either, it just keeps throwing beautiful chaos in your lap, all soft skin and heavy breathing mixed with dumb jokes about mana points.

What I liked most is how it doesn’t pretend to be clever. The dialogue’s sometimes broken, and the pacing jumps like old VHS tape - one second you’re teasing Ada Wong, next second Tsunade’s lecturing you about responsibility while sitting on your lap. There’s some strange comfort in that inconsistency. I did wish there were more sound options though; moans hit too loud compared to everything else, made me lower volume quick before neighbors got curious. And yet, when Makima whispers in that weirdly calm tone, you kinda forgive every bug. Maybe nostalgia blinds me - I grew up on janky flash hentai crossovers, and this feels like one resurrected from 2009. The dice mechanic almost feels secondary to the conversations, which twist between sincere and absurd so fast it makes you laugh mid-erection.

Sometimes I forget which universe I’m even in - Naruto? Overwatch? Who cares. The worlds blur, the clothes vanish, and someone says something about destiny while you’re trying not to roll another damn six. Three words? Chaotic, filthy, affectionate. Dare to play it alone, or invite company?

Nami getting lost on some random island feels exactly like something that would happen in One Piece, but this game takes that idea and just strips all the shounen “friendship and adventure” crap away and leaves you with one thing: horny, selfish survival. You’re not here to be a hero, you’re here to watch a cute redhead pirate slowly sell out every bit of her pride just to escape a place that basically wants to eat her alive, piece by piece, in the dirtiest way possible. It starts almost innocent, like a goofy little parody where she’s annoyed at being separated from the crew, muttering about Luffy being useless again, and then the island starts pushing back. Weird altars, shady “deals,” strange creatures that feel like someone mashed hentai tropes into a blender and forgot to put on the lid. Suddenly it’s not about map charts anymore, it’s about how far she’s willing to go, how much shame she can swallow, and how much you want to see her fail at resisting.

The visual novel style actually works way too well here. You just click through and think “ok, it’s just text, it’s harmless,” and next thing you know you’re carefully choosing dialogue that pressures her into just one more little compromise. Say something rude to a pervy spirit, lose some safety. Say something flirty to get what you want, lose some dignity. It’s not super complex but it doesn’t need to be, because the corruption is the main toy. There’s this moment early on where she has the chance to walk away from a suspicious shrine and every normal player brain screams “this is a trap” and somehow your finger still goes to the option that makes her kneel and check it more closely. Same energy as pretending you’re going to play “for the plot” and then the first CG hits and you’re quietly turning the screen brightness down and closing Discord like you’re hiding a crime. The art leans hard into that anime parody look, you can tell exactly what character this is based on, yet her expressions are way dirtier than anything Oda would ever draw. Sometimes her face looks a little off and proportion goes weird for one frame, but honestly, it kind of fits the whole cursed island mood, like the world itself is a bit warped and sleazy. The sex scenes escalate from “oops, this is embarrassing” to “okay this girl is ruined and pretending she’s fine” and by that time your choices already pushed her there, so congrats, captain, this is your fault.

Death in this game feels almost like a dumb joke. One moment you’re gone, next moment some higher power tosses you back into the city like “here, go clean up horny ghosts now.” You’re not a hero, you’re more like a half-confused exorcist with a dirty mind, wandering around dirty streets and creepy apartments where every shadow might be a spirit or just a girl with tits that look like they’re breaking the fabric of her bra. It’s that kind of mix: cheap horror vibes, lots of soft colored lights, then suddenly there’s a MILF ghost asking if you’re here to banish her or “take responsibility” for waking her up. And honestly, you kinda want to do both. The whole thing plays out like an ecchi anime someone forgot to censor, with a bit of cheap cartoon style humor where even the scariest curses somehow end with you face-first in some big ass or with a hand up a shirt you probably shouldn’t be touching.

The story jumps around in a funny way. One moment you chase a curse to some old building, expecting some Ring-style crawly nightmare, and instead you bump into a tsundere waifu ghost that calls you an idiot for messing up the ritual while her gigantic boobs are literally clipping through her shirt. You talk, pick some choices, mess up a line, she gets pissed, and then somehow that leads to her pinning you against the wall and “absorbing your spiritual energy” with her mouth in a way that is absolutely not PG. There’s one scene in a tiny bathroom where the light flickers and the mirror starts bleeding, and out comes this shy specter girl with huge eyes and even huger tits, trembling like she’s actually scared of you, and when you purify her, the game flips it into this incredibly tender blowjob scene. It’s kind of sweet and fucked up at the same time. And then there’s a milf neighbor who’s not even dead, just “cursed,” walking around in a robe that never closes properly, and the game keeps giving you camera angles that stare right at her cleavage, like it’s reminding you every ten seconds that you’re not here for the plot.

What I liked is how it doesn’t pretend to be classy. Some scenes are just straight-up porn: you’re grinding this big-thighed ghost over a ritual circle while sigils glow under her ass, and she moans about how the curse is leaving her body while your dick is clearly the only exorcism tool being used. It’s stupid and hot. There’s one alley scene where a demon girl bends you over spiritually, and the choices you made before actually change her dialogue and how rough she goes, which caught me off guard because I thought it would be just click-next-to-cum. On the other hand, some “romantic” paths feel rushed like the dev got horny and stopped writing halfway, so you go from awkward small talk to full anal in maybe three lines of text, no buildup, just “okay, clothes off.” The text sometimes reads like it was written half on coffee, half on horny brain, with weird jokes that made me laugh just because they were so dumb, like a ghost calling your dick “holy staff.” And the game loves big tits so much it basically forgets asses exist, except for two or three scenes where the camera finally goes behind and you’re like: damn, where was this angle the whole time. Music is that chill loop you forget is there, which is good because you’ll be tabbing out to Telegram or watching something on YouTube between scenes, then suddenly there’s a haunted school stairwell and a busty spirit in a half-ripped uniform asking if you’re brave enough to “finish what she couldn’t in life,” and of course you pick the most degenerate option just to see how far it goes. It kind of feels like opening a cursed doujin and then realizing it reacts to the stupid choices you make, and by the time you’re balls-deep in another “purification ritual,” you’re not even thinking about ghosts anymore, just hoping the next girl moans louder and the dev remembers to add more positions this time.